Re-Member!

One day.... you will suddenly feel an irresitible need NOT to live in unconsiousness, in ignorance, in that state in which you do things without knowing why, feel things without understanding why, have contradictory wills, understand nothing about anything, live only by habit routine, reaction. --The Mother, Pondicherry, India 1958 It's not easy to live life from a place of awakening, it is so much easier to live unconscious of my actions, of my attitudes, and of my life. I lived many years in an unforgetful cloud of sabotage-- if life did not directly affect me, I didn't care how it affected others. It was a life of complete selfish desctruction. I remember my first day on my yoga mat, it wasn't all rainbows and mystical transformations that came from just sitting on my mat breathing. My first day of yoga class with a formalized teacher, where it wasn't me a dvd and the pause button was a clear face to face moment of who I was and essentially who I was not-- there was no hiding behind my bold personality, there was no hiding there was just me on my mat with myself and a room of 10 other people who did not care about me, or how practiced I was, they were just happy to be doing yoga on their own mat, in their own space. I did not have to make my presance known, it was felt without my having to be the center of the room. For the first time in my life I felt completely vulnerable, transparant and completely not on display. After several classes I realized because as we moved together the energy I brought to my practice was connected to those other people. For the first time in my life, I sat with myself, without a reaction from others, and for the first time I woke up to the fact that I have the majority vote in my life, I didn't need someone to tell me I'm worthy -- I was and am worthy of living from an awake place within me-- I don't need approval for how I live my life-- I just need to live it be trustworthy to my purpose-- to Re-Member myself.